The New Punisher
by grimreaper's lost soul
Summary: Naruto declared dead, a new life of delivering true punishment to those who deserve it, some call him a murderer others a hero, all know him as the Punisher of Konoha!


The Rusted Kunai bar  
>Konoha's Down Town Section<p>

A civilian with slicked back hair, sharp face and eyes that reflected years of service with a guitar rested upon his raised right leg, his tattooed hands ready to play his instrument of choice, plectrum strumming away with practiced ease as he sang with powerful emotion as he sat upon the stage before masses of off duty nin.

(Play: Johnny Cash: The Man Comes Around)

"And I heard as it were the noise of thunder  
>One of the four beasts saying come and see and I saw<br>And behold a white horse

There's a man going around taking names  
>And he decides who to free and who to blame<br>Everybody won't be treated all the same  
>There'll be a golden ladder reaching down<br>When the Man comes around

The hairs on your arm will stand up  
>At the terror in each sip and in each sup<br>Will you partake of that last offered cup?  
>Or disappear into the potter's ground<br>When the Man comes around

Unbeknownst to them, the man whose feats inspired the song that this man was playing to those occupying the bar was busy hunting down a pair of would be rapist Chunin not six alleyways away, decked in full black.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers  
>One hundred million angels singing<br>Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum  
>Voices calling, voices crying<br>Some are born and some are dying  
>It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come<p>

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree  
>The virgins are all trimming their wicks<br>The whirlwind is in the thorn tree  
>It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks<p>

The Chunin males were beginning to panic, as they crisscrossed throughout the maze of alleyways, yet no matter how fast they ran the constant sound of footsteps was always behind them, no matter the amount of debris overturned to slowdown their pursuer.

Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom  
>Then the father hen will call his chickens home<br>The wise man will bow down before the throne  
>And at His feet they'll cast their golden crowns<br>When the Man comes around

Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still  
>Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still<br>Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still  
>Listen to the words long written down<br>When the Man comes around

The Chunin turned sharply to the left only to find themselves blocked by a wall well over thirty feet in height and completely covered in chakra absorbing seals much like the entirety of Konoha's alleyways, which only activated when the 'Punisher' was on the hunt.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers  
>One hundred million angels singing<br>Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum  
>Voices calling and voices crying<br>Some are born and some are dying  
>It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come<p>

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree  
>The virgins are all trimming their wicks<br>The whirlwind is in the thorn tree  
>It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks<p>

The two Chunin turned to double back only to find their fears confirmed, standing in his almost six foot glory decked in a coal black trench coat, matching combat pants with steel toe capped combat boots a flack vest somewhat similar to a Jonin's however it was completely covered in pouches and a white skull was stencilled onto his chest.

In measured hundred weight and penny pound  
>When the Man comes around.<p>

And as the two Chunin reached for their Kunai, the Punisher pulled out two Taurus Raging bull Revolvers from their hip holsters, both had attached compensators and the barrels aligned at the six o'clock chambers' these were a weapon neither Chunin had time to comprehend, as the Punisher squeezed both weapons triggers once.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts  
>And I looked and behold, a pale horse<br>And his name that sat on him was Death  
>And Hell followed with him."<p>

Before either could blink both were missing the backs of their skulls their brain matter coated the walls, both collapsed to the ground, the punisher quickly holstered his signature weapons before looking towards the thick night cloud; lightening quickly flashing, briefly showing the Punisher's features.

His slicked back blonde hair, whisker like scars adorned his angular face, dull blue eyes that held a soul of a man with no mercy for those who committed acts so despicable that the very thought brought a cold fury to the forefront of his mind.

His name was Naruto Uzumaki declared dead many years ago, and now he was only known as the Punisher.

"Gorou and Hisoka, another two scumbags dealt with, both attempting to rape an unsuspecting civilian woman, two men with ties within the yakuza rings as well as family ties to Konoha's best defence lawyers..." Naruto took a deep breath as he walked clear into the sparsely populated main streets of Konoha, even though he was high on Konoha's political shit list no one could accurately describe him bystander or survivor thanks to several unique Fuinjutsu stencilled in his clothes and tattooed on to the back of his neck.  
>Pulling free a cigarette and lighting it with a Zippo lighter he had acquired the blonde strolled towards one of Konoha's storm drains, long since forgotten about after the village's foundation, traversing a good three hundred metres the blonde stopped at a vent like covering and pulled it aside bringing a ladder into view, mounting the ladder the blonde turned and replaced the cover with one hand before sliding down the length of the ladder bringing himself into catacomb like tunnels that had seen no life in almost a thousand years.<p>

At least until Naruto discovered it all those years back, looking about the blonde trekked another fifty or so metres before reaching his home an army issue cot with regulation grade blankets folded neatly upon it, throwing aside his trench coat onto an exposed section of reinforcement bar Naruto begun to remove his Kevlar vest, leaving himself in his turtleneck like black top, quickly moving towards his dining area he approached a docking station pressing the button on the bottom end of the device it brought up a screen, pressing the arrow head pointing right a song began playing through the speakers.

"Don't worry about a thing..." pulling out an MRE packet he placed the contents in a flameless heater, moving further inside Naruto entered his armoury with various weapons much like his own in various states of disassembly and repair. "'Cos every little thing is going to be alright..."

Looking at several blueprints Naruto decided on what he'd work on next, reaching into a draw Naruto pulled free a bottle of whisky and a clean jam jar and filled it up an inch, before depositing the whisky bottle back into the draw, taking a sip the strong alcohol gave a nice burning like sensation in the back of his throat.

Quick drawing one of his revolvers in his right hand he aimed it down range only to find a purple haired ANBU wearing a cat mask and the ANBU captain's grey armour. "Captain Neko what do I owe the pleasure."

"Another patrol found two Chunin dead in an alleyway same M.O. as the last set of victims with the exact same wounds as those weapons of yours produce... You wouldn't happen to know about that would you?" asked a feminine voice concealed behind the mask.

"Of course the pair of them; were serial rapists that have escaped prison sentence or public execution due to their ties within the 'Justice System' that you ninja so like to uphold... no disrespect to the ninja forces of course."

"Of course." The Cat masked ANBU replied smoothly. "Anything else or is this another social call?" The ANBU captain removed her mask before taking a seat on one of the chairs around his dining area's table, Naruto smoothly holstered his revolver. "Anko and Ibiki are having a problem with a prisoner they've got their hands on, one who has resisted torture to almost ridiculous levels."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to help them break him, get him to talk." The purplette responded. "What will I get out of this?" Naruto asked taking a seat opposite to the ANBU captain. "Aside from bragging rights, a personal favour from me and a get out of jail free card with a onetime use."

"Fair enough, I'll need everything on this list delivered to the interrogation room, which one is the bastard in?"

"T&I-room thirty two." Neko said as she took a glance at a slip of paper from the blonde and quirked an eyebrow. "When do you plan on getting there?"

"In forty minutes."

"I'll have this in ten and set up before a quarter of an hour before you arrive what are you going to do?"

"Finish my whisky." Neko just shook her head. "You know I keep saying this but thanks again for saving Hayate for me." Naruto just waved her off before taking another sip from his whisky, at that moment the song moved onto the next. "Don't Worry... Be happy now." Neko just smiled replacing her ANBU mask on before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

"Like the song said nee-san... be happy now." Naruto quickly downed the rest of his drink before eating his meal in peace, once that was done, Naruto reached for his Kevlar vest and trench coat and calmly made his way topside.

Around twenty minutes later Naruto walked straight into the Torture and Interrogation building built into the ANBU Headquarters, passing by the stationed guards and dedicated staff without any hassle, he walked into the thirty second room to find his esteemed guest hung upon a chain by his feet his arms bound above his head.

"Fuck you Konoha-nin I ain't telling you shit!" barked the hostile ninja donning a Kumo headband. "I know all of your tricks and your regulations regarding ninja suffering through your interrogations!"

"Well if I was a ninja you might have had a point, but I'm not so I'm about to tell you something I call science and you'll be spilling everything you know in minutes." Pulling a butchers apron on some welding goggles and some heat resistant gloves Naruto pulled up a stool.

Reaching behind the nin Naruto pulled up a welders torch, igniting it the Kumo ninja's eyes widened. "what's the torch for?" Naruto smiled. "I told you I'm going to tell you about a thing called science, you see this torch here..." Naruto waved the torches flame closer to the Kumo ninja's face making him reflex away from the blonde. "Is producing a flame at the temperature of two thousand degrees; hot enough to turn steel into butter." Naruto quickly rolled the stool to the ninja opposite side from behind. "And if this flame was... for instance to make contact with human flesh you wouldn't feel a thing, this is because it's too hot you see, it fuses your nerves... and after a couple of seconds all you'll feel is cold, like the Shinigami himself is brushing his fingers down your back." Naruto whispered into the ninja's ear.

The Kumo ninja was now visibly sweating in response. Unbeknownst to him Anko and Ibiki alongside several ANBU were listening and watching in through the two way mirror behind said ninja, Anko was rubbing her thighs together causing one ANBU in particular to giggle somewhat perversely. Naruto sat behind the ninja side on to his left held a slab of meat and on a trey to his right sat an ice pop, quickly grabbing the ice pop in his right hand the one closest to the Kumo ninja's back. "Now this is where science gets fun!"

Naruto applied the torch to the lump of meat for a few seconds before applying the ice pop rather sharply to the ninja's back, causing the ninja to scream rather girlishly, Naruto removed and repeated this for random lengths of time, each time the Kumo ninja screamed.

Many of the Torture and Interrogation staff and guards shivered at the wails and pleas of some sorry bastard who pushed Konoha's kindness and hospitality too far.

Anko meanwhile was practically fingering herself at the turn on which the Punisher was giving her. "Persistent little bastard aren't you, but that'll change cos I'm pretty sure you've lost about two pounds of fat."

"Alright I'll tell I'll tell." And so after about forty minutes of the Kumo ninja spilling his guts about his true identity and his true affiliations, Naruto shoved the ice pop into the now identified Sound Village spy's mouth to shut him up.

With that said and done Naruto donned his gear and disappeared once more into the crowds of Konoha.


End file.
